Man-Crushes: Me & My Bros

Ever had a man-crush? I don’t know about girls, but us guys – YES! We all have at one point or another. It goes unnoticed most of the time, but when we do it gets awkward – whether we’re straight or gay. It’s simply admiring another male whom you perceive to be the near-perfect image of a man or who doesn’t need any adjuncts to his personality to prove himself a better individual. And it gets awkward because, for either straight or gay men, it’s neither romantic or sexual but then we kind of idolize our crush and get obsessed with them. It’s weird. I’ve had several man-crushes in my life, and the surprising thing is that they don’t really go away. They just get less intense and I still have admiration for those crushes of mine. Here are 3 of my men:

  1. The Doctor :: He was halfway through medical school when I met him at an English language class. I was 14 and he’s like 5+ years older than me. Quiet and reserved but makes witty and cheeky (sometimes raunchy) comments occasionally. Tall, well-built, stern face, Chinese with a fair complexion. He made a good impression on me during our first conversation. I later found out that he graduated from my high school. Most of my teachers were his and they all have good things to say about him. He graduated high school with 100% score in mathematics and 98% in chemistry, and chemistry was my favourite subject then – just because I loved my teacher and she did a good job teaching, not because the subject was particularly interesting. And he was doing great in med school also. He became my idol throughout my 2 years in high school. I didn’t graduate with grades as good as his though.We kept in touch throughout the years. I know where he lives and I have his number, but it was hard dropping by at his place or calling him – because there is that wall of immense admiration I have for him. I’ve confessed to him that he is one of my life-size idols – by which I mean he is not a celebrity idol – and he probably feels weird about it, although he’s never responded to that remark about him being my idol. He graduated last year and is working on GRE and USMLE. We went out to dinner just the other night.
  2. The Teacher :: This guy graduated from Webster University – 2 years in Bangkok and the rest in the US. (I don’t really know where that school is in the US. West Coast?) But it didn’t really matter to me that he graduated from a big school like that. But it was admirable in that he came back to  Burma to work for the community. He now runs a successful private library in Yangon and also teaches at his own school pre-collegiate students who want to go to college/university overseas. He decided to return to Burma after graduation for 2 main reasons: he found the “American way of life” overbearing; and he wanted to do something for the youths of Burma and he had a plan.Now, it’s not easy running businesses like his here. For the library, he charges only like $5-8 membership fees for 6 months, and people can barely care to read – since they have so many other cares in this country. (I don’t remember the exact price.) And his classes, there aren’t many young students willing to take chances to go study abroad for higher education, and he’s not the only one who teaches those classes. His classes get expensive though, because he needs money to keep his library on the run. He comes from a rich family, as far as I can tell, but he’s gotta keep his own businesses running and it’s tough. He works from like 7 or 8 in the morning till like 10 or later at night, and he prefers not to take any days off.I met him when I was applying to schools in the US. He helped me out with the application process and taught me reading and writing as pre-collegiate training. It was a good experience. Mine was a chill class for him, because I’d go over to his place like from 8:30pm to 11:00pm or in the late afternoons on the weekends when the library is closed or when he has no other classes. He’s making a lot of sacrifices. He has to put in time, effort and money into his work. (Actually, his teaching career is meant just to support his other business financially.) He barely has a personal life – although he dates. But seriously, how fun does dating get when you work 12+ hours each day and have no official days off? He lives and works at the same place. Yes, his classes and library are in the same building as his room/apartment. I can’t imagine myself in his shoes, but I do appreciate what he’s doing.
  3. The Roommate :: Stevie! He’s my punkass. That’s what he calls me and I call him that also. He’s a hippy and a guitarist. And although he’s a musician, he’s not good with words in expressing himself or most anything. I’m a drama queen. I would stay in most of the day and he would go out a lot of the time. But at the end of the day, I have more stories and I just have to tell him everything before bed. He would either listen with a blank expression on his face while fidgeting on his guitar or grunt in bed telling me to stop because he’s tired. He never had the right responses or any response at all for my stories. Most of the time, I talk of petty things but when it comes to serious stuff and he doesn’t say anything, it ticks me off.But I like him. He’s the only man-crush of mine, who is not perfect like at all but I don’t care. He had 4 younger siblings but didn’t really have strong interpersonal bonds with people because his first younger brother is 5 years younger than him and he is very much a free spirit. What was special about our relationship: we unwillingly bridged our differences – yes, unwillingly and the hard way. We had a fall-out moment at the beginning of the second semester. He left our room. There were times I wanted to beat him up because he seemed so callous and ignorant. But he used the silent treatment on me and avoided me and stuff. But I could always drag him to me and talk whenever I had something of utmost importance. I would always be the one to talk. He never did start conversations. As for sweet moments: I would climb up to his top bunk in the mornings to say good morning. We would go shopping and he would help me budget, because I’m a ridiculous shopaholic. We would make ramen every Sunday night (when his girlfriend, on my request, didn’t come around or sleep over), even after he moved out, and have it with a drink – sometimes alcoholic – and talk about deep larger-than-life stuff, like religion, philosophy, arts, politics, etc.I could still call him an stereotypically ignorant straight white Christian male – and he was (and still probably is) to some extent – but come to think of it our relationship is special. We weren’t the best of roommates. We disagreed a lot and had many “I don’t wanna be with this guy/I shouldn’t be with this guy” moments, but we became the closest of friends. We don’t really have much in common and the school did a terrible job putting us in room 313 of that dorm – yes, 13 was unlucky. But hey, we made it. Still, I can’t tell any strong reasons why he was a man-crush of mine. But I did like him and was obsessed over him.

You know what? I think most of us would have man-crushes on your fathers or grandfathers, especially if we’re close enough to them and they are the kind of ideal men we can look up to. Never had any on mine myself though. If you have special man-crush incidents, share away, peoples!

Also, girls, does this man-crush phenomenon apply to you? Or do you have your own version – like a woman-crush?

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